By Fatima Ariadne
“Write a book for your Lord”
In a silence, a whisper deep from the heart, in subtle yet authoritative way, in crone whispery voice as familiar as I’ve always recognized. That’s not my imaginary ”alter ego” Sophia. That’s something else, much more moving and purer than anything in that moment.
“I don’t write a book anymore”. Instantly I remembered my beloved novel draft 2 years ago, where I was pretty ambitious to write, a story about extraterrestrial’s time travel pursuit using an aircraft called Anayacavera the First. Therefore the novel draft title ”Anayacavera”. Virus eats my files but amid the disappointment, I realized that it was an ugly novel in which I’ve wasted too much time and energy for it. So I deleted the rest and never try to write any book since.
“I’m a failed author”, I laughed in mockery to myself but I knew I was lying to myself. Why should I give in to self-limiting belief? If I help the cause or religion of Allah, for sure Allah will help me and He will not leave me alone.
“What are you afraid of?” It asked again, “do write a book. A spiritual book. You will just know what to write. You will be guided.”
Tomorrow later, as I thought of the prospect writing a spiritual-religious book, suddenly a flood of ideas coming in. I was in the flow and following it.
I was thinking of something related to soul consciousness, the purpose of life and death, the purpose of Islam, God and the feminine, something spiritual yet not wishy washy. In 40 minutes, suddenly my computer was filled with outlines ready to be written.
”Publish your dreams with Rasulullah! As long as you’re truthful and honest, nothing to be afraid of!” the kashf said again which made me trembled almost to death.
In the past 2 years, I’ve met Rasulullah Muhammad in astral plane aka dream, many lucid dreams due to my habit of sending large amounts of salawat or durood shareef to him. We have conversed a lot but I was very afraid to share them to anyone, very fearful that people will accuse me of lying and fabricating stuff. I’m afraid of people pointing finger at me, saying ”who are you some lowly person to meet Rasulullah this frequent?”. Honestly, I have no idea other than to say, whatever Allah wills it will happen, even if it’s outside human logic or wishes.
Every single conversations are carefully written and recorded in my personal journal. The one written here is only one sample of so many, and my journal recorde around 36 dreams of meetings with Rasulullah in 2 and half years.
Therefore this book, I will write around the spiritual consciousness topic including my many conversations with Rasulullah Muhammad where I asked him questions and he answered them. Of course I dare to swear and take oath in the name of Allah that I don’t fabricate a single word of Rasulullah, out of immense fear of hellfire punishment.
You may want to ask, in what form do I routinely see Rasulullah? I saw him as a middle-aged man in 2 meters tall, which he described as common height at his lifetime which is neither too tall nor too short. His face is glowing white, always wearing white robe and turban. His eyes are immensely huge, sparkly, and beautiful. You may think at once it’s a childlike eyes, but I love them. Once you looked at his face, you’ll see a friendly, patient and lovable fatherly figure. His voice is low, patient, and fatherly, he talked in my language I swear, and everytime he talked it’s slow speed and he’ll pause from time to time to make sure I have memorized them well to my heart. He treated words like pearls, no word is wasted or just a useless filler.
I don’t have any idea yet what to title this book, but let’s wait and see! In the meantime, it’s still in the baby phase to write. But it’s been 2 chapters already done and I’ve never been so spirited.