A husband said to his wife : “50,000 years before Allah created the Universe, He wrote your name next to mine….”
By Fatima Ariadne
You might notice a little ZZZZ for a while in Decoding Eden village , and here’s why :
I’m. Getting. Married.
It was at the end of month Dhulhijjah in Hijri year, or near the end of October 2013, I officially ended my (actually boring) singleton days in a marriage vow. Then we traveled in 2-weeks honeymoon in my husband’s birth place, which is a peaceful small town facing the sea. Perhaps the longest time I could live without opening my laptop or surfing online, at all.
Hahaha, okay if you don’t mind reading I’d like to write a long musing about it .
What the? Marriage?
Perhaps this is the first time I’ll write a full-length post about myself. Honestly, just now I realized marriage is perhaps not as scary as I thought. I’ve always been commitment-phobe. The wedding might be great, I’ll dress like a princess in a lavish celebration and get cheerful “congratulations!” from people. But I realize that marriage is a beginning to a longer road ahead – beyond the infatuation stage, wedding party, and oh that beautiful dress that will make Cinderella envy.
Marriage is a responsibility. A huge one. My longtime pet peeve is when some Islamic scholars or preachers out there making it as if the objective of marriage is to avoid fornication only.
Marriage, as well as parenthood, is a spiritual path. It’s a sacred bond to honor for a lifetime. Marriage pushes us to think beyond our cages of ego, from “me” to “us”, to share, understanding, listening, protecting, and nurturing – that’s why it’s half of our deen. But am I ready for such responsibility?
So following my mother’s advice : bismillah and tawakkul (let go and trust Divine One). Allah only grants you this step because He believes you are ready.
A Fellow Alien Incarnate
“Every time I look at that star, I always feel an unexplainable peace, like it was my home in a long unknown past”, his finger pointed to a reddish star beneath the Bootes constellation, at one pristine night.
“That star is called Arcturus”, I replied.
“And I always thought that beyond these white dots, there is life, like here”, his hazel eyes were gazing to the depth of dark sky, “….and the Pleiades. Especially Pleiades”.
“I felt the same too like you, only it’s with Orion’s Belt and Sothis. Every time I saw Orion’s Belt it always casts a warm spark in my heart. And Sothis… I remember the first time I saw it rise up in the sky, there’s something magnetic about Sothis.”
Several years ago when I questioned myself whether my ugly-ducklingness would land me a man of my dream, I got this profound divine dream :
I sat with an unknown man in the edge of city at night. Doing stargazing together, he told me while his finger pointing to the stars, with voice that later familiar with me : “one day we will fly to the sun!”.
Little did I know that one day the dream would manifested itself, into myself meeting my lost twin who now become my husband.
“Alien incarnate” – that was the tongue-in-cheek term I made up for people who are highly obsessed with UFO’s, crop circle patterns, extraterrestrials, cosmology, and some strange stuff no normal people would think of : like how psi phenomenon works, where the Atlantis survivors went to, DNA engineering in Ancient Sumeria, or what kind of engine exists in aliens’ spaceships (my husband’s really good in that!).
Truth about love : it’s more complex than crop circle patterns!
Although we have eerily similar interests and nerdie brains, that alone didn’t make things easy. In fact, in our earlier journey, we argued and fought a lot. I’m very direct and straightforward, he always demands explanation. We both are stubborn and made things difficult. I take the blame for myself too — my volatile temper and moodiness and all.
But there is one thing, we never lose trust on each other.
Only over time after we managed to understand each other, and willing to see and listen each other’s sides of stories and inmost world….. Only after we break this heart-wall barrier, we both realize we actually have more similar things in common than we have difference. And any difference we have is only there to strengthen each other, not to weaken or for fault-seeking.
To the point that we believed we’re twin souls because we can click magically – as if we’ve known and been familiar with each other, long before this. It’s not a mere infatuation, and God knows how our bonding is not that of lovey-dovey. But it’s just we clicked. Reminds me of this quote :
“Soulmates don’t finally meet somewhere else. They’re always in each other all along” (Rumi)
So Back to the Marriage Thingy….
Among my elder cousins, I’m the second one who married first. I really never thought I’ll do. In fact I never thought any man will ask my hand for marriage.
My nerdiness is already well-known, and so is my unattractiveness. I’ve always been the weirdest one, the “alien being”, the one who think that books are more interested than humans. I’ve never dated before. Guys came to me not for asking me out, but to ask me how I can help their literature or science homework!
So I just ponder this Divine wisdom. Every thing comes when it is supposed to come. Nothing too early or too late, it’s all in Divine’s timing. Somehow I realized now when it comes to commitment, our opposite sex would look beyond our physical attractiveness. Youth fades, but not with the soul.
Either way, I’m so blessed. Alhamdulillah (praised be to Allah).
I’ll end with this beautiful message – I don’t know who originally wrote this. I don’t create these words, someone just forwarded this to my email :
Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is a beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for : companionship, intimacy, friendship, etc. The truth is marriage started as an empty box. You must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage. Love is in people. And people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage. You have to infuse it in your marriage. A couple must learn the art and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising, keeping the box full. If you take out more than you give, the box will be empty.
So, these are several of my happy pics I’d like to share y’all :
The D-day, and yep we had green wedding dress! xD
The (not fancy but still lovely) honeymoon scenes :
(All taken from my cellphone camera )
Cor igitur et scingitur et tangitur amore.
(And the heart therefore are both encircled and touched by love)
Love and blessings,